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“When I was a little girl all I ever wanted to be when I grew up was… fabulous. “

-Elizabeth Faye

Being a big girl is TOUGH stuff. You feel the need need to be sexy, beautiful, womanly, motherly, professional, wifely, modest …blah blah blah…and accepted in the eyes of society. You must be age appropriate, and sexually attractive…but not to sexual because your over 30…or a mom…or a professional…but you can’t be too mom-frumpy because that’s not beautiful either …YUCK. Not to mention BODY IMAGE! I would dare to say most women have struggled with being in love with their own body image and own image from the age of 12 on…Ladies isn’t it FUCKING time we start learning to love every inch of our imperfectly perfect bodies?

I want to talk a minute about body types, body image and feeling sexy. So first off I am going to stand up and start clapping my hands. Then possibly kneel on the floor and start by placing my hands above my head and then lay them on the floor… and repeat. This is me worshiping all the of the women in power who have made “curvy” sexy again. From one big booty girl to another….thanks ladies (fist bump)! 

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I remember being 12 years old in ballet classes and trying to tuck my butt under my own body as much as I could. I remember squeezing my abdomen with all of my effort to try to have my butt go FLAT. How come the other tall girls with long beautiful arms and legs and torsos could do so? A nice straight line from the nape of their neck to their ankles. Just slender and graceful like a real ballerina would be. Me…the shortest of my class at all times and was rocking a ghetto booty …no matter how thin I was…no matter how many lunches I skipped…I couldn’t be as slender and beautiful as the girls in my ballet classes.

My teacher would slap my buns and say “Tuck it under Miss Elizabeth, good posture please!”

All I wanted to do is say “Dammit lady! I just have a big ass. LAY OFF. Okay?!”

Tears would wheel in my eyes every class. I loved ballet, I loved dancing and I wasn’t bad at it at all. I just didn’t exactly fit the mold. I was a short, ghetto booty, black eyeliner wearing, slightly emo kid that couldn’t afford all name brand dance clothes…I wasn’t a good grade getting , tall , traditionally beautiful girl from a nice suburb.

Oh but, hip hop class I never had this problem…I was aloud to shake what my mama gave me…but I loved ballet.

This sort of thinking led to me multiple times starving myself, taking diet pills in elementary school because of a comment a boy made to me which led to an ER visit & once in hair school where I got so sick I almost had to go to the hospital. Not that it matters but for the sake of you understanding that this is a head game…. I was a very skinny kid and teenager ..this was all in my head. None the less I did not grow up to be a professional ballerina. That dream was crushed ha.

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I remember another time that I was at the beach with some family quite a few years back and I was post baby (always a lovely time to be at the beach, am I right).  <———– That was total sarcasm is you didn’t catch that.

And I was wearing self consciously a one piece and trying to enjoy my baby and the beautiful ocean.

I was surrounded by family who was tall, fit & slender and I was rocking my 5 foot 2 wife /mom bod with a big booty and boobs and still working off the baby weight…always felt a bit out of place in that aspect. Looking back I should of embraced my curvy-ness. I remember sitting on the beach and a family member  was pointing out a stunning tall slender girl in a bikini and drawing attention to my husband at the time.

I finally made a comment that basically was meant to come across as….. “COULD YOU NOT maybe point out gorgeous naked women to my husband while I am holding a new baby and still working off my baby weight at the beach?! THANKS.”

And the response was , “Oh honey…your husband was never into PERFECT girls anyways.”

You can imagine how I felt. My stomach dropped and I held back tears in an effort to not look like I heard that or to seem as if I wasn’t hurt by a comment like that. Thinking to myself , “Well it’s a good thing Elizabeth is not perfect…”

This is the sort of BULL SHIT thinking we have to erase from our minds. I wish I could go sit next to that Elizabeth holding her sweet baby and say to her…you just brought a life into the world YOU ARE SO AWESOME, you are a beautiful sexy strong woman and you look GREAT in that one piece …why aren’t you wearing a two piece, those stretch marks are really COOL because that means you grew, carried and gave LIFE all the while being sick, working, being a wife and a million other things. ELIZABETH YOU ARE soo PERFECT. 

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Anyways…you get the point. Slender is of course stunning but let’s take a minute and not worry about all the different types of bodies and just think about your own. What’s beautiful about it? Now embrace it.  Stop worrying about your scars, your stretch marks, your cellulite your “this” and “that”. Guess what, everyone has something or lots of somethings imperfect! You are human and our bodies aren’t perfect and that’s totally okay, it’s more than okay , it’s awesome.

Don’t get me wrong, I think we should be healthy, fit and I am the first to admit I love a good cosmetic enhancement or adjustment BUT you still have a body type…no matter how much GYM or how many boob jobs you get….and that is what makes you YOU and so beautiful. So this year entering the dating life I decided…I am going to LOVE my body, every damn square inch of it. I am going to find it sexy and dress in a way that makes me remember that I feel that way.

So by embracing our bodies we can learn to dress our bodies that best compliments it. So instead of me pretending that I have a tiny butt and hips…hell I wear tight jeans that show of my butt…because it’s not going anywhere so I better learn to love the damn thing!

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Anyways I would love to hear your thoughts….stories maybe relating to this topic. You can comment or email me beautybyelizabethfaye@gmail.com

Maybe ill share a second post on the topic if you guys write it!

XO Elizabeth Faye and her big fat butt!

PS: I am supposed to give you outfit details hahaha so here they are below 

Bomber & sexy ass jeans BOHME BOUTIQUE 

Top PAC SUN

Hair Extensions Monarch

Here is a link & discount code

https://monarchextensions.com?rfsn=279056.b5382

CODE: faye20

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  • Jamie - I love this, E! Found myself wanting to cry while reading it, and I’m not a cryer. HIt me hard today I think because my little K came home the other day and mentioned that she was a little contemplative over something another girl heard some boys say about her on the playground.. They said, “Why is she so fat?” 10 years old and already it begins! I’m so pissed.. just want to wrap around her to protect her, but that’s not realistic. Can’t protect her from it as it will always follow her, as it follows all of us ladies. So I will do the best I can to reinforce a healthy self esteem and support the ideas of a healthy mind, spirit, & body. Just KILLS me though…. I know part of this responsibility is to model a good example and love myself too – that’s hard! Damn it’s hard…. Glad I have you to help me as I’ve always been a bit of a frump girl and tend to neglect my own appearance at times as life is busy. Love you, E! You are top of the list as far as amazing women are concerned. You flaunt those sexy curves because I’m raising sexy-curved girls and they look up to you!ReplyCancel

    • elizabethfayehair@gmail.com - Your comment made me cry. Exactly how I would raise girls if I had one. Love you Jamie- tell your babies they are beautiful for me xoReplyCancel

  • J - I can’t tell you how much I love the message being shared here. I’ve NEVER been curvy or really “womanly” at all. I grew up a runner & didn’t hit puberty til I was 15.. and even then, not much of a difference was made. I was skinny and awkward, with a lot of sharp angles and prominent bones, made even worse when I finally hit a growth spurt & grew eight inches in a year. I never had much of a problem with my body– it could run & play soccer & get me where I needed to go, & I never thought about it in many other ways. My body was just my vehicle. Then I hit my senior year of high school & people began making comments. The girls on my cross country team, who were all shorter & about the same body fat percentage as I, made snide remarks implying that I was fat. Having never really thought about my body critically before, I was confused. I didn’t really believe I was fat, but I didn’t like that they could just look at my body & analyze it. I started wearing baggy clothes, hoping no one would notice me. This carried all the way through to my sophomore year of college, when I was hit witht anxiety so bad that I couldn’t eat. I lost weight from all the stress (& I had very little to lose in the first place). Then one day when I was changing in my room, my roommate looked up at me & said “that’s gross.” I looked around, confused. “What’s gross?” I asked, halfway into putting on a new shirt. “You’re so skinny, it’s disgusting.” THAT did nothing to calm my anxiety, & I ended up on medication that year. From that point on, it seemed like everyone thought they had a right to comment on my body. A guy I lived next to told me he’d noticed I had no boobs (very nearly right. still not okay to say). One of my good friends told me I had no butt & I needed to find pants that would make it look bigger. A teacher I worked with in my undergrad program told me, rather accusingly, “it is SO hard to be overweight, because I’m always self-conscious. That’s something YOU couldn’t ever understand.” Everyone has struggled with their body image at some point, I think. instead of making it harder for others, let’s make it easier for ourselves. Focus on loving your body, not hating others’.ReplyCancel

  • tammy Ankenman - I LOVE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE ! YOU BRING THE SUNSHINE AND THE RAIN. AND I LOVE BOTH!

    LOVE MOMMA!ReplyCancel

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Being a hairstylist and a mother learning the power of the word “NO” can be hard but key to maintaining some order, balance and happiness. I am in a customer service industry so sometimes saying “NO” seems like the wrong answer sometimes. WRONG!

Don’t starting trippin…I have said YES one thousand times more than I say NO. That is one of the only ways to gain success but there are times and places to use the power of the word  NO!

I hear in every workshop I teach, like a cry for help…”I need help with balance.” I want to raise my hands in the air and say “AMEN.” because I understand this feeling so painfully.

A struggle of everyones I am sure but a big one of mine. I believe there are moments of time that you are out of balance and that is should be embraced.

Like to get to point A to B. That could be school, getting out of debt , hardships, building a clientele, climbing the career ropes, medical reasons, divorce,  etc…but once the dust settles finding balance is important for growth, happiness and to not get burnt out.

I read an article once that said , “You cannot do everything. If there are 8 slices of the pie…you only get to eat 3.” Basically saying you can only do so many things at once WELL. Which I do believe to be true. I also believe in the power of saying “NO” and asking for HELP.

So being a mother (wanting down time with my kid, sports, cooking , cleaning , vacations ,etc…)

single mom (wanting some small social life/dating life)

salon owner (wanting to mentor and grow my team)

being a normal person (wanting to IDK work out and have “me time” now and again)

a hairstylist (wanting to have good customer service & make some money)

running a nation wide education business (students, ticket sales, attending education, teaching education , training assistants, creating new ideas, patterns, building cirrocumulus , always bettering my education experience, sponsors, traveling , time management , etc etc ETC…)

and wanting to just a person and to just be and chill sometimes…. so if you struggle with balance TRUST ME I UNDERSTAND.

I also am a hard worker, dreamer and don’t believe in selling myself short SO I SAY NO to the stuff that isn’t feeding my family and my main goals and rest I find out how to balance it …instead of quitting or having a mental break down.

 

JUST DO THESE THINGS …THEY HELP!

 

  1. PUT YOU First. Yep, I said it. Be a little selfish, a little vain and a little needy. Have you ever met someone who has spent years being a martyr…saying it was for my job, my kids, my husband/wife etc…and they have abused themselves by not taking care of their number ONE…themselves. People who feed this mentality or fall in this category just need to make a mental switch. They do this with good intensions but what they don’t realize is they are doing these loved ones /jobs/ religions etc… a disfavor because they are not able to give, serve, help, love the best to their ability because WHO IS GIVING, LOVING, SERVING them??? NO ONE!  So put you first. I schedule me time into my week EVERY WEEK & I find moments for it everyday. Sometimes this looks like waking up early and enjoying a quite hot shower and a cup of coffee while I put on my makeup before my rug rat wakes up. Sometimes this looks like listening to good music on the way to work, going to yoga, having a house cleaner come and do the stuff I don’t want to do, getting my nails done, dressing well, getting my car washed, getting a massage. I hear women say all the time in the chair …they have never done some of these things & maybe these aren’t relaxing things to you but find some and do them everyday. Wear clothes that make you feel confident and well dressed. Show up to face the day with power. Listen to music that makes you feel good inside. Eat food that fuels healthy energy. Do things for you but SCHEDULE it in. Spur of the moment DOESN’T work! You come first.

 

2.  BE ORGANIZED AND HAVE A PLANNER. It is NOT in my nature to be scheduled or organized but I have learned it is the ONLY way to live a prosperous life. Book everything in advance and have a calendar. Your work schedule (and HAIRSTYLIST STICK TO IT) , your nail apps , your date nights, your grocery shopping days, your play dates with kids, your free time. Old me would of said…well then when do I get to be spontaneous… well Elizabeth you didn’t EVER get to be because you were always busy so now you get scheduled free time. Time that is yours to enjoy because you know most things are done or at least done enough for today. HAIR STYLIST MY BIGGEST SUGGESTION IS TO MAKE A WORK SCHEDULE AND STICK TO IT WITHOUT FAIL. NO SLIPPING ANYONE IN EVER. I also suggest one day a week for chores, errands, buying product, washing the car etc…don’t squeeze that stuff in. Have a “Get yo shit done DAY.” That way you can schedule the rest of your human life!!!!! Clients will adjust. IT Is JUST HAIR! Nothing is worth your sanity, happiness, family balance and personal balance. Boundaries are HEALTHY.

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3.  Realize that you can’t do it all , all the time. You can’t hang out with friends everyday, gym everyday, work everyday, family everyday , cook everyday  etc….So prioritize what is most important and do the others a little bit. It is like the pie analogy . You can’t have all 8 slices all the time but you can have a bit of the other pieces now and again.

Find things that can overlap. For example: my salon ownership, servicing my clients and making content for social media are all important things but I don’t have time to do them all , all the time. So I only work two days a week in the salon and I focus on doing all three really well all day. Pretty much nothing else gets done those days but I plan for that. I grocery shop other days, cook the day before & eat left over that day (or get take out) etc….I know those are the days for doing that only. Those days never change or alter for the most part. I plan on them being blocked out every week, every time.

Another example: I want to hang out with girlfriends but I also want quality time with my child so I do them at the same time most of the time. Every once and awhile Ill do a real “girls night out” but not very often.  Maybe Ill go to the gym with my girlfriends…kill two birds with one stone! Go on a stroller ride, get the idea?!

 

4. Here is the big one….say NO to everything else. If it is stressing you out, isn’t going to make your life better, isn’t going to make the world end, isn’t making you money, isn’t making you really happy….GET RID OF IT. Spring clean your life, your circle of friends, the activities you agree to help with, the favors you give, the things you think you need….less is more – and then you can actually do more. It’s crazy how it works.

Feed what is feeding you …emotionally, mentally, physically , financially.

This means friends, family , church, work, clients, kids, lovers. When you know it would just make your life so much easier or your stress go away if you said , “NO” …then that is your gut saying ….”TOO MUCH! STOP. No more. Not needed.” ….follow that . IT feels so great once you say NO and feel that relief.

 

5. Reward yourself. Buy yourself shit, tell yourself how freaking rad/pretty you are, thank yourself, uplift yourself, take yourself to dinner …whatever!! Just reward yourself. Remind yourself daily that you are doing amazing, you are worth it, you are good enough for great things, you demand happiness, success and balance. The universe will listen when you align your thinking.

PS: It is also okay to get overwhelmed, cry and have the occasion mental break down hahaha (that can be normal too)…then get back to being awesome when you are done. xo

-Elizabeth Faye

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If you don’t already love Portland than you NEED to take a long weekend and GO. Like now.

So I taught in Portland a couple months ago. It was my second time back this year to teach and my first time going when it was rainy. Seems weird, right? Last time I went in Spring & it was perfection, I hear summer is a must as well. It seemed fitting to be in Portland in the rain though. First thing my assistant and I noticed of course was the green, but was the leaves turning. Being a born and raised desert rat I am not familiar with what REAL seasons look like. Our very depressed but interesting uber drive informed us that , “This is not fall yet.” but to us we were in awe of the color.

Traveling for work has its perks and it’s downfalls. I won’t lie, I get sick of airplanes, living out of a suitcase and the constant never feeling settled because as soon as I get home and in my groove…it’s time to fly again. On the positive…it’s been one of the most eye opening, inspiring and refreshing experiences of my life. I have been able to eat my way through a lot of the US this year, shopped everywhere, has some of the funniest, worst, best moments of my life. I truly believe that traveling is something we NEED to do. It has taught me so much meeting different people, seeing different things and new perspectives. I am much more open minded, understanding and willing to love different types of people.

Our class was packed & went really well but I am not sure I brought clothes fitting for the weather. None the less I shared some fall favorites I have been coveting …and some Portland must do’s!

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 5 must have things to do & number 6 must have thing to do is to go back and do more. It’s seriously one of my favorite cities.

  1. You have to stay at the ACE HOTEL …great location , rad vibe & has everything you need!
  2. You need to see the Rose Gardens – one of the best parts of Portland is it’s a city within nature
  3. You have to try Voodoo Doughnuts and Blue Star – all the locals will say they prefer Blue Star
  4. If you don’t stand in line at Salt&Straw …then did you really even go to Portland?
  5. Fresh juice when I travel is a must and Kure  has a great story , rad vibe & great juice

Happy Travels

xo Elizabeth Faye

screen-shot-2016-11-03-at-1-22-20-pmI get asked ALL the time in my classes about how I do it all? It’s a question that makes me chuckle because I personally always feel like I am failing at something or multiple things. As a mother, salon owner, educator, passionate creative and born entrepreneur…I always feel a strong desire to do more, be more…and the question of how to balance more is always in the forefront of my mind. And maybe yours too?

I dare to say what most of us feel and probably don’t like to admit out loud…it’s easy to compare ourselves to other mothers, fathers, co-workers, friends, artist and well other successful people. Then after we are done comparing we feel bad.

The feeling of wondering how others do it all instead of  being happy with how much we DO DO and already ARE is a common struggle.

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First off, I think we all need to give ourself a DAMN PAT ON THE BACK, and then a massage, a cookie then go celebrate your awesomeness in the bubble bath with an entire bottle of wine. Secondly, I would say to do more, be more and to keep growing you can’t stay a “me”.  You must become a “WE”.

For some this might look like an assistant, employees, a salon team, gaining mentors, business coaches, trainers…success is not found alone.  The load of work is too much to carry and you must spread out the work & delegate in a growing business. All good leaders are very good at this skill.

For myself this looks something like…a salon, a salon team, handy man, house cleaners, social media assistance, a business coach, pre-school/daycare, family, friends and a personal assistant. So how do I do it all? I don’t. I work very hard (like my work my freaking ass off all the time hard) and I also delegate the rest out. This did not come over night and slowly I added help to my circle as I grew and the more I delegated the more task I could take on and continue to grow my business. 

A big learning curve I have had to go through is my business growing and learning to hire out help. I am the first to admit I am truly a creation of the school of hard knocks.

I am a high school drop out, I have NO degree in anything other than hair and I am by no means a tech whiz, good at math or know what the hell I am doing most the time haha. I have learned by trial and error, lots of amazing mentors (this is key!), good books and asking a lot of questions and messing up ALOT.

 

I want to share my 5 top tips that I wish I could go back & tell myself before hiring help

1.WRITE YOUR GOALS OUT PERFECTLY CLEAR. WHAT DO YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP ?? WHAT WILL THIS PERSON GAIN? THEN LAY IT ALL OUT FROM THE BEGINNING.

2.WHEN PROBLEMS/CHALLENGES ARISE, WRITE THEM DOWN. FIND A GOOD PROFESSIONAL TIME TO ADDRESS  THEM ASAP AND BRING YOUR SOLUTION TO THE TABLE. THE SOLUTION DOES NOT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE A DEMAND BUT SOMETIMES A SUGGESTION (DEPENDING ON THE CIRCUMSTANCE) BUT REMEMBER YOU ARE THE BOSS. 

3. TAKE THE TIME OUT OF YOUR BUSY SCHEDULE TO TRAIN YOUR ASSISTANT HOW YOU NEED THEM TO BE TRAINED. THE DETAILS ARE EVERYTHING. THIS MEANS CLEANLINESS, VERBIAGE , DRESS CODE, WHERE THEY STAND WHILE ASSISTING YOU BEHIND THE CHAIR, WHEN THEY ARRIVE, DAILY TASK…EVERYTHING! 

4. LET YOUR ASSISTANT KNOW WHEN THEY ARE REACHING GOALS AND DOING GOOD. I REMEMBER AS AN ASSISTANT HOW MUCH THAT MEANT TO ME TO BE TOLD THAT. HARD WORK SHOULD BE REWARDED. 

5. EDUCATE YOUR ASSISTANT AS YOU GO. LOOK FOR OPPORTUNITIES TO MENTOR. YOU ARE A MENTOR, ACT LIKE ONE. 

I hope some of these tips help you out! I will be posting more on the topic of having an assistant behind the chair & how to mentor & have systems that run smooth …like a well oiled machine! If you are a young stylist I encourage you to look for mentors to assist & for all other stylist I would say mentors are KEY, I would be no where without mine. I always have mentors in my life & plan to for the duration of my career.

xoxo Elizabeth Faye

  • Kat Kruse - Thank you for this. I need some direction and clarity in moving forward with my assistant. And helping both of us grow. These tips have done all of this. Can’t wait for more to come. From you and us. KatReplyCancel

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